Hessian Studies

"If you like the music, you’re a metalhead. You like to buy certain things and listen to them.
If you like the ideas behind the music — the lifestyle, the worldview, the imagery and most importantly, the spirit — you need to use a word that means you are more than a consumer of metal music. You’re a Hessian. Derived from California slang from the time when Slayer were starting out, this term refers to the mercenaries who fought for both sides during the Revolutionary War — from Hesse, in Germany, they had long hair and fought like demons."

Damit wäre also eine neue definitorische Volte in den metal studies geschlagen. Das Programm der zu obigem Prolegomena gehörigen Hessian Studies ist schon lange online - genau genommen seit 1994!  Zeit also in einem historiographischen turn dieses Manifest noch einmal genau druchzusehen und der aktuellen Institutionalisierung der metal studies kritisch gegenüber zu stellen...

Auszug:

"What is Hessian Studies?
Hessian Studies is the academic study of Hessians, Bangers, Metallians, Metalheads, death rockers, and other adherents to the genres of metal and grindcore. The Hessian Studies Department believes that any truly diverse multicultural population will contain representatives of this world-wide underground culture, with its rich and spanning historical and social contributions.
What are the aims of the Hessian Studies Department?
The Hessian Studies Department seeks to establish a presence of Hessians on campus and in campus events, as well as to create a comfortable environment at The College that suits the specific needs of Hessians at a small liberal-arts college. To this end, we have presented a List of Demands to the Administration:

1. That there be Hessians hired to faculty and staff positions, and that all hair length rules and any form of drug policy regarding Hessians hired be abrogated, as Hessians have a religious need for some currently-regulated substances.
2. That there be a Hessian Studies Center, complete with both audio and textual libraries and lounge area, for the study and advancement of Hessians.
3. That the community radio station play more music favorable to the tastes of Hessians during prime-time shows.
4. That the inscription at the gate of the college be changed to either “Fuckin’ Groovin'” or “You Suffer (But Why?)”.
5. That discrimination against Hessians as a group of drug-addicted, drunken, long-haired incompetent losers destined for parole at best be eradicated from campus literature and mindset.
6. That there be Hessian cultural events on campus, including concerts by noted Hessian bands and festivals related to various organic products enjoyed by Hessians.
7. That the Hessian Studies Center be funded to provide late-night pizza and beer snack breaks.
8. That Hessians be given equal time to speak at multicultural events, and the right to develop their own curriculum of Hessian Studies Courses."